Inspired by Sandy C. Newbigging and Eckhart Tolle
Or "Mistakes Women make that keep them Locked into Low Sex Drive" |
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For support in going from body bashing to body loving:
When you find yourself in the middle of an argument with your partner
and you seem to be getting nowhere,
see if you can both agree to work it through
with a change in communication style.
Instead of both of you heatedly trying to get heard,
talking over each other
feeling side-tracked by the direction and momentum of the argument,
try some "Uninterrupted Listening".
One of you will speak, one of you will listen silently
then the roles will swap.
When it is your turn to speak
say everything you want to say,
without worrying what order it comes out in,
taking the time you need to formulate and express your thoughts and feelings
allowing silences if you need them
until you feel you have "emptied out"
all that you need to say,
then let your partner know that you're done
and it's their turn to speak.
Now it's your turn to listen without interrupting
looking at your partner,
to show that you are actively listening.
No need to interrupt them as it will be your turn again,
when they are done and have handed "the floor" back to you.
You can both take as many turns
as the situation needs,
only swapping roles when the person speaking
has fully finished and is ready to listen again.
Inspired by Relate
and you seem to be getting nowhere,
see if you can both agree to work it through
with a change in communication style.
Instead of both of you heatedly trying to get heard,
talking over each other
feeling side-tracked by the direction and momentum of the argument,
try some "Uninterrupted Listening".
One of you will speak, one of you will listen silently
then the roles will swap.
When it is your turn to speak
say everything you want to say,
without worrying what order it comes out in,
taking the time you need to formulate and express your thoughts and feelings
allowing silences if you need them
until you feel you have "emptied out"
all that you need to say,
then let your partner know that you're done
and it's their turn to speak.
Now it's your turn to listen without interrupting
looking at your partner,
to show that you are actively listening.
No need to interrupt them as it will be your turn again,
when they are done and have handed "the floor" back to you.
You can both take as many turns
as the situation needs,
only swapping roles when the person speaking
has fully finished and is ready to listen again.
Inspired by Relate
For support in communicating as a couple:
Use the healthy emotion of anger in your heart
to create a healthy boundary around your body
and around your space*
*the proprioceptive area around your body
within which your animal senses
can feel what is going on
to about an arm's length in all directions around you.
Claiming your space on this Earth,
Giving you a sense of clear spaciousness
in which you have room to "be".
Inspired by Karla McLaren "The Language of Emotions"
to create a healthy boundary around your body
and around your space*
*the proprioceptive area around your body
within which your animal senses
can feel what is going on
to about an arm's length in all directions around you.
Claiming your space on this Earth,
Giving you a sense of clear spaciousness
in which you have room to "be".
Inspired by Karla McLaren "The Language of Emotions"
For support in working with your anger
or creating healthy boundaries in your life:
or creating healthy boundaries in your life:
Author
Susie Warburton Brown,
Diploma in Psychotherapeutic Counselling,
Heal with Susie,
Newcastle upon Tyne
[email protected]
07989 514161